Meaning to live

The NZ Methodist Conference decided, last November, to commit to a ten year journey focused on implementing the theme “Let the children live”. We live in a land where many thousands of our children live in poverty, and our youth suicide rate is amongst the highest in the world. Last year, in Aotearoa-NZ, 69 young people under the age of twenty committed suicide. The youngest of these was ten years old. All our Churches are increasingly called to advocate strongly for a society which meets at least the basic needs of children and young people. The teaching and actions of Jesus provides strong theological and moral justification and support for the “Let the children live” plea . Jesus said, "Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Mt 19 : 14) To allow the current situation to continue, where so many of our young people are living in poverty is unacceptable. A theology of compassion is driving all the programmes and initiatives within the Methodist Church and other Churches as we seek to intentionally respond to the desperate cries for help of so many young people. Some of these cries for help from our tamariki are stifled, and are not being heard within families, schools, Churches and communities. Those of us who have the privilege of having “enough” to live on need to attend more consciously to, and respond in practical ways to the cries for help which come to us each and every day in both spoken and unspoken ways. Sometimes it can be a fleeting look of despair in the eyes of a child which can trigger our inquiry into their situation. Sometimes it can be a request for advice from a solo mother or father who have just been told by their child’s school teacher that their child has (during class time) declared their intention to commit suicide. Sometimes it can be responding to the need of hungry and anxious families by taking food to them, or making sure they know where the food banks are. Sometimes it will involve going with, and being an advocate alongside, solo parents at the local WINZ office to ensure that every benefit they are eligible for is able to be accessed. Sometimes it will be officiating at funerals or memorial services for young people who have committed suicide, and agonising with family and friends of the deceased who are struggling to accept the reality of the death of their child. Sometimes, when we have the opportunity and motivation, it will involve attending suicide prevention workshops. There is no higher incentive to attend a suicide prevention workshop or conference than having recently lost a loved one to suicide, or to have recently ministered to families who have lost a child to suicide. Everything within us cries out, “No more!” and we do all we can to identify the risk factors and take appropriate action to preserve, protect and nurture precious life. In Dunedin there is a wonderful service for young people called Chatbus. There are two buses now which travel around local schools. Chatbus counsellors are available to chat with young people, during school hours, about whatever is troubling them. This is a great example of a community care service which helps build resilience in the lives of young people and enables them to generate and sustain a sense of meaning in life. Sunday schools, youth groups and Church families also play crucial roles in creating a sense of community. When young people feel genuinely included in a community of faith, life is experienced as being more worthwhile and meaningful, and the chances of suicide are reduced. The impact of failures in some areas of life, such as relationships and academic performance, can be “buffered” by being loved and valued by a community of faith for who we are , not for what we do, or do not achieve. Most suicides are triggered by an accumulation of negative life events such as being consistently on the receiving end of violence, emotional abuse, relationship break ups, trouble with the law, financial stresses, and unemployment. Negative life events and adverse life experiences put people at risk of suicide. Suicide prevention for people of all ages therefore needs to focus on reducing the frequency and intensity of negative life events and helping people build emotional resilience to cope with those adverse life experiences which are inevitable. Compassionate and effective mental health services are essential if we are to let the children live. However, mental health services alone are insufficient. Sometimes we hear of unfortunate outcomes of medical interventions such as the overuse of anti-psychotic and anti-depressant drugs, which can have negative long-term side-effects. Acknowledging and ministering to the spiritual dimension of young people’s health, as advocated by the “Te Tapa wha” model (Durie, 1982 ) ensures a more holistic approach to caring for the young people of our land, whatever the their culture, religious background, faith, lack of faith or socio-economic status. The four cornerstones of Māori health are whānau (family health), tinana (physical health), hinengaro (mental health) and wairua (spiritual health). All people can benefit from applying the insights which flow from this holistic understanding of health. The PERMA Model was developed by the respected psychologist, Martin Seligman, and was widely published in his influential 2011 book, "Flourish." "PERMA" stands for the five essential elements that should be in place for people (including young people) to experience lasting well-being, and hence reduce the likelihood of suicide. These are positive emotions, engagement, positive relationships, meaning and achievement/accomplishment For us to experience well-being, we need positive emotion in our lives. Any positive emotion like peace, gratitude, satisfaction, pleasure, inspiration, hope, curiosity, or love falls into this category. For young people it’s really important for them to know that they are loved, both by their families, their friends, their communities and (ideally) by God. The more that young people engage with a creative project or a sport, the more likely they are to experience well-being and find meaning in life. Experiencing meaning is greatly enhanced by creativity and appropriate accomplishments. We need therefore to encourage young people to nurture themselves in some way, whether it is mastering a new skill, achieving an academic goal, or participating in sport . A healthy sense of accomplishment when realistic goals are met, contributes to our ability to flourish and will reduce the likelihood of suicidal thoughts and attempts. Ultimately of course, it is not about being loved for what we have achieved, but accomplishments do enhance our self esteem and provide satisfaction. I see this at University and other Graduation ceremonies. To be justifiably proud of having reached a challenging goal, bolsters our confidence, builds emotional resilience and buffers the negative self-image which can contribute to suicidal thoughts when under stress, or under the influence of alcohol and other drugs. As humans, we are social beings. Good relationships are vital to our well-being. Time and again, we see that young people who have meaningful, positive relationships with others, are happier than those who do not. The Church can play a crucial role in creating the context within which good relationships can be formed and be nurtured. Meaning comes from serving a cause bigger than ourselves. Young people need meaning in their lives to have a sense of well-being. To have no sense of meaning is to be at increased risk of suicide. What is the point of carrying on in life if there appears to be no meaning in life ? To be assured of being loved is the spiritual antidote for a loss of a sense of meaning. When young people are valued and consistently told they are loved , meaning and purpose are instilled. It is especially important for parents and whanau to show tolerance and patience when young people rebel and push the boundaries. During the teenage years, it is normal for young people to make mistakes, some of them which inevitably lead to the destruction of property and the injury of themselves and others. The teaching of Jesus in the Parable of the Prodigal son needs to be applied here. Forgiveness needs to be offered if the offending young person is not to retreat into a shell of guilt and rebellion. Restorative justice procedures in many cases lead to a better outcome for young people than exclusively punitive measures. There is a story about an African tribe who, whenever a member of their community is found to be guilty of an offence, surround that person for days. Members of the tribe bombard the offender with reminders of all that is good about them. Eventually the offender gets the message and will do their best not to re-offend against their community, a community which has cared enough to put considerable time into reminding them of how inherently good they are. Each and everyone of us has the opportunity to encourage and resource the wellbeing of the children and young people around us. We will be good news to our younger ones, to the extent that we show acceptance, empathy, compassion and understanding of their struggles. We can be the good news by praying for and working together for a world where all children and young people have access to everything they need to reach their full potential. Being there alongside young people, in a way which enables them to experience meaning and hope for the future expresses the heart of the gospel , which is that all of us are loved by God. May God enable us all to be channels of that transforming and healing love. Let the children live ! http://www.careers.govt.nz/educators-practitioners/career-practice/career-theory-models/te-whare-tapa-wha/ http://www.amazon.com/Flourish-Visionary-Understanding-Happiness-Well-being/dp/1439190763